It may be appropriate to focus on other aspects of Chinese, such as reading for instance. There are many people who learn to read Chinese (or French, etc) but never how to speak, and not really how to listen to it. I think it depends on one’s overall goals. I would also be curious to hear what the graded reader audio is like, it may be that it is simply too fast, and that slowing it down to a lower speed may be beneficial.
Anecdotally, your post made me remember a post I came across by the famous polyglot Alexander Argüelles - Wikipedia on a forum when I was doing my initial resource on how to learn Chinese (or any language, generally):
Of course I was tempted to learn modern Chinese - learn it and with one fell swoop you will have learned to communicate with 1/6 of the people on the planet - what other language can offer this? I did make several stabs at it, but you are exactly right, I was “turned off by the tones.” Pax to you and all who love it and to Victor and all whose tongue it is, but I really find Chinese to be an incredibly ugly language. I tried to overcome this purely subjective prejudice by focusing on its importance, but as I must initially learn languages by intensive shadowing, I just couldn’t do it. After only a few minutes of shadowing Chinese, I begin to feel very unpleasant physical sensations because my entire auditory system is offended by what I am hearing, and it is as if my vocal tract is saying “stop! this hurts me! I don’t want to make these sounds! please stop!”
I think this little annecdote about myself illustrates a very important principle of polyglottery, namely the principle of affinity. I do not believe it is possible to learn a language that you do not like. I think that one reason why many people study but fail to learn a language, and why they do not enjoy the process, is because they do not feel any affinity for the language they are studying. It is all well and good to go after a language becuase it is important or useful or for whatever other reason you like, but if you not like the way the language looks, sounds, and feels, I think you had better make another choice. That is to get started learning, but to take it to a deeper level and really master a language, I think it is necessary to appreciate the cultural aesthetics of a language - its cuisine, its music, its art, its literature. I’ve found that respect for the tradition is not quite enough - these things must actually appeal to you. You should explore these things when choosing a language, and carefully consider the feelings of affinity or antipathy that develop as you progress in your studies in order to determine whether or not to continue. Those who learn a language because they have to do not have this luxury, but those who learn languages out of love should not be burdened with something they cannot love.
Here’s the post (message 21 of 71).
It’s definitely not an easy language. All I can say learning it to any decent level of proficiency will be met with many setbacks, and the best plan one can have is to be ready to change your plan. Speaking for myself, I continually hit roadblocks but get around them by focusing on other things or really honing in on the one thing I feel is most important, regardless of frustration.
Best of luck in your endeavors! 加油!